Kanda Yuu one shot - Edge of Lightning

              You weren’t the girlfriend of Kanda Yuu, because calling him your boyfriend was too trivial a word. Boyfriends buy you flowers and chocolate and take you on dates to the movies, and it’s easy to see that Kanda was not boyfriend material. He was the person you depended on, the person you trusted more than anyone. He was your lover. He was dark and angry, lightning around the edges and pure grinding thunder inside. But he was yours, and you were his.

*

                You were stood in Kumoi’s office with Lenalee when the other three joined you. Allen and Lavi moved to sit on the couch with Lenalee while Kanda silently stood next to you, his arms at his sides, one resting on the hilt of Mugen.

                “Good you’re all here, now I’ve got a couple missions for you, Lenalee and Allen, you’ll be going to France to check out some innocence there, Kanda and Lavi, you’l be going to Turkey and checking out that innocence. Sound good?” Kumoi said

                You could feel Kanda next to you, stiff and brittle. He was going on a long mission alone with Lavi. You usually accompanied him.

                “Kumoi, why am I not going on a mission?” You asked, anger starting to boil inside you, you had been inside on bed rest for two weeks now and you were getting frustrated.

                “Head nurse tells me your shoulder still needs a bit more time.” He said innocently.

                “Bullshit, my shoulder’s fine. What it needs it to be back in action out in the field.” You countered. You were prepared to fight for this until you felt fingertips brush the back of your hand. Kanda’s fingertips. It was such a small movement that no one else noticed it, no one but you. That brush of skin said so much, it was his version of holding your hand to calm you down. As much as he wished you were accompanying him he grudgingly agreed that your shoulder wasn’t fully fixed yet. He would deal with Lavi, and you would go with him next time.

                You huffed and settled down, watching as Kumoi outlined the missions.

                Eventually the meeting was over and you were all free to go. Well, you were free to go, the others were free to pack and head out immediately. You sat on Kanda’s bed and watched as he moved around his room picking up essentials that he would need.

                “Do try not to kill Lavi.” You said, grinning when his eyes cut to yours before moving back to his task.

                “It’s his own fault if he runs into my blade.” Kanda muttered. You grinned and moved off his bed to stand behind him and wrap your arms around his waist. You buried your face between his shoulder blades as you felt the muscle shift under his shirt as he continued to fold clothes.

                “He is a good exorcist, despite his other flaws. He does the job well. And he’s the next bookman, a lot of work has gone into training him and getting him ready.”

                “Then maybe you should go sit on his bed.”

                You grinned, “Kanda are you jealous?”

                He scoffed, “I have no reason to be jealous.” But you could hear it in the undertone of his words, he didn’t like you praising Lavi, no matter the reason. You tightened your arms and pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder blade. “Lavi certainly is good with the ladies, and the way he uses the extendable hammer to move around is inspired.”               

                Kanda rounded on you, his inner thunder showing in his dark eyes with an underlying layer of confusion. “He’s saved my life many times over, and he always saves a seat for me in the cafeteria.” You leaned up and pressed your lips slowly to his, “but I chose you. And I will choose you every. Single. Time.” Your words were interspersed with slow gentle kisses, and he finally responded. The kiss was grey waves crashing on a rocky beach, lightning flashing in the distance and thunder rumbling after it. You looped your hands around his neck and resisted the urge to untie his hair, he had to go soon and would not appreciate it. His hands also seemed to be restraining themselves, they were wrapped around your hips, pressing with a burning need. His thumbs were under the waistband of your pants as he pressed into the soft skin above your pelvic bone. You let out a breath as he moved to your neck. One of his hands moved to grab a fistful of your hair and pull your head back, giving him more space to roam your neck. He went immediately to your weak spot and gave it the rough treatment that made your head spin. “Kanda” you murmured breathlessly, “you have to go soon.” His only response was to grip your hair tighter and bite harder on your neck.

                *BANG BANG BANG*

                “Yuu come on, the boats are ready.” Lavi called through the door, thumping heavily on the wood.

                Kanda gave one last pull on your neck before moving to pack his folded clothes into his bag and zip it up.

He shrugged on his coat and made his way to the door and left without a backward glance. You could hear Lavi already getting on his nerves but he didn’t respond.

                You sat back on his bed and watched Kandas lotus. It really was beautiful. It was everything Kanda was not, it was calm to his burning rage, it was serene to his rippling fury. It was the innermost part of him that you loved along with his anger. He was flawed, but he was beautiful in his imperfection.

*

                “Lenalee, Allen, you’re back already? It’s only been three days.” You were shocked, you’d expected them to be gone for at least a week.

                “Yeah, our finder practically had the innocence gift wrapped by the time we got there. All we had to do was kill a couple akuma.” Lenalee said. “I’m going to go wash up and then head down for lunch, would you like to join us?”

                You nodded. You had been so bored the past few days, you hated being injured. Kanda was so lucky he healed so quickly.

                “I can’t ever think of an exorcist who’s ever eaten more.” You said, watching Allen stuff back all his food. Lenalee giggled, “I agree, even the other parasitic types don’t seem to eat as much as you Allen.” A faint blush crossed his cheeks before he shrugged and continued eating.

                “So how are things going with Kanda?” Lenalee asked.

                “They’re going well, I wish I was on that mission though. I can’t imagine what Lavi’s doing to him.” Lenalee giggled again, agreeing with you.

*

                It had been three weeks since Kanda left and you could see Kumoi was starting to grow nervous. Neither Kanda nor Lavi had checked in since they left the Order.

                “They’re back!” Allen yelled. Your head turned sharply and you could feel a smile forming.

                “Where are they?”

                “Cafeteria, come on!” He ran away and you followed, abandoning the book you were reading. When you got there you saw that Kanda was just finishing his soba, his face looked murderous. You didn’t go to him at first, opting to stand at the doorway and look. He didn’t seem to be injured, but his shoulders were tense and his jaw was clenched. Slowly you walked over and sat on the opposite side of the table, facing him.

                “How was your mission?” you asked.

                “Successful.” He grunted back. He held your eye for a brief second before returning to his food.

                You could see Lavi looking strangely at the two of you, obviously expecting a different kind of reunion. You prayed that he would keep quiet…. But of course he didn’t.

                “Yuu, aren’t you going to tell her you missed her? Kiss her hello, hug her? Something to show that maybe you give a shit about her.” Kanda froze and you winced, “Lavi…” you began before he held up a hand to silence you.

                “Come on Yuu seriously, you’ve never once said you love her, you don’t hold her hand, you don’t say goodbye when you go on missions! If you don’t love her then quit using her!”

                “Lavi stop. You’re way out of line.” You said firmly. He probably meant well but he had no right to be barging into your personal life. Kanda left the table, leaving his food uneaten. You sent a glare at Lavi before following Kanda.

                What if this wasn’t the first time Lavi had said something like that? What if Kanda had been hearing things like that for the past three weeks? You looked around for Kanda, feeling desperate. Kanda was angry, maybe angrier than you had ever seen him and he would probably attack the first person who spoke to him. You finally saw his swinging ponytail and you ran after him, “Kanda!”

                He didn’t stop walking. Soon you caught up to him and grasped his hand, locking your fingers with his. You stayed like this in silence, your arm stretched forward holding his behind him. “Kanda look at me.” You said softly.

                He turned and your heart nearly broke. His eyes were all thunder and lightning in his fury, but below that there was hurt, and confusion, and uncertainty.

                “Lavi doesn’t know anything about us.” You murmured, “he-”

                “He’s right though, isn’t he?” Kanda cut you off, his voice harsh and cutting. “You’d prefer a man who gives you the world.”

                “I don’t need the world when I have you.” You replied.

                “I never said I love you.”

                You smiled, “You don’t have to, I always knew.”

                “I never say goodbye.”

                “I never want you to. It makes me feel like you won’t come home.”

                You stood on your tiptoes and tilted your face back and waited for a second before Kanda bent down and joined his lips with yours. It was a soft kiss, a kind that Kanda usually didn’t partake in but you knew this kiss had meaning. It was thanking you for being there for him, for accepting him gruff behaviour and all. He broke the kiss and you looked at his eyes only to see they were narrowed and focused on something behind you. You were about to turn around and Kanda must have known it because he pushed you back against the hallway wall and captured your lips again.

This was more like Kanda, a fierce need that coursed through the kiss alighting the both of you to your carnal desires. He braced his forearm on the wall above your head and pushed his body to yours more. The heat from his body was everywhere around you. One leg forced its way between yours and he lifted you so you were stood on your tiptoes. His thigh was pushing against your core with glorious friction and his body crushed you to the wall. His hand was wrapped in your hair at the nape of your neck and he pulled on it expertly to tilt your mouth to his more. He nipped at your tongue and sucked on your bottom lip, all of his pent up frustration and desires from the last three weeks poured into the kiss, and it was all you could do to keep up with him and return the favour. Your leg wrapped around his calf and your hands had gone to his neck to keep him at your level.

“Whooooo! Go Kanda! That’s more like it!” You heard Lavi yell. You moved to break away from Kanda but he merely captured your lips again with more pressure that you could not refuse.

“Okay you two, get a room!” Still Kanda did not stop kissing you. His knee pressed deliciously into your core and you let out a groan that you couldn’t keep hidden. You felt Kanda smirk into the kiss and he gave you a nip as if to say ‘good girl’. You heard Lavi walk away and Kanda finally released your lips. You gulped for air and looked into his eyes.     “what was that?” you asked, your voice clearly showing that you were not complaining at all.

“He won’t be complaining that I don’t kiss you anymore.” You let out a smile. Kanda would never change. One of the best kisses you had ever received and it was all because Kanda was proving a point to Lavi.

Kanda stepped back and briefly touched your hip where your shirt had ridden up. His eyes darkened, but this time it was not anger that clouded them. He walked away and you walked beside him, knowing that he was not leaving your side for a very long time.